The Power of Words: How De-Moralizing Your Diabetes Vocabulary Reduces Stress

Imagine this: You’ve had a busy morning. You’ve been running errands, answering emails, and you finally sit down to check your blood sugar. You prick your finger, wait for the countdown, and the number 184 pops up.

What is the first word that enters your mind? For many of us, it’s a word like "bad," "failed," or "wrong." In that split second, the number on the screen stops being a measurement of glucose in your bloodstream and starts being a grade on your character. You feel a sinking sensation in your chest, a wave of guilt, and suddenly, your whole day feels ruined.

Living with a condition that requires constant monitoring means we are subjected to a never-ending stream of feedback. But the language we use to describe that feedback—both internally and externally—has a profound impact on our mental health and, surprisingly, our physical health. It’s time we talk about de-moralizing our diabetes vocabulary.

The Hidden Weight of ‘Good’ and ‘Bad’ Numbers

We are conditioned from a young age to categorize things into binaries: right or wrong, pass or fail, good or bad. When we apply this to blood sugar management, we unconsciously attach morality to physiological data.

If a 100 mg/dL is a "good" number, then by extension, you are a "good" person who did the "right" things. But if a 220 mg/dL is a "bad" number, the internal logic follows that you are a "bad" patient who made "bad" choices. This emotional toll is exhausting. When we label a number as "bad," our brains process it as a personal character flaw.

The reality is that blood sugar is influenced by dozens of factors—stress, hormones, sleep, weather, and even minor illnesses—many of which are entirely out of our control. By stripping away the moral labels, we can see a number for what it actually is: a data point that tells us how much insulin or activity we might need in that specific moment.

The Science of Stress: How Judgmental Language Triggers Cortisol

This isn’t just about "feeling better" emotionally; there is a hard physiological link between the words we use and how our bodies function. When you see a high number and immediately follow it with self-criticism ("I’m so stupid, why did I eat that? I’m failing at this"), your body perceives that self-attack as a threat.

This triggers the "fight or flight" response, releasing cortisol and adrenaline. Here is the cruel irony: cortisol is a hormone that tells your liver to release stored glucose into the bloodstream to provide energy for the "fight."

So, by shaming yourself for a high blood sugar reading, you are actually triggering a hormonal response that can make your blood sugar go even higher. This creates a "shame-stress-hyperglycemia" cycle that is incredibly difficult to break. When we approach our numbers with neutral curiosity instead of judgment, we keep our stress hormones in check, making the physical management of our levels much easier.

From 'Test' to 'Data Point': Redefining the Reading

Language is subtle, but its roots run deep. Consider the word "test." Since elementary school, a test is something you either pass or fail. It’s a verdict on your knowledge or ability. When we "test" our blood sugar, we are subconsciously preparing for a grade.

Instead, try shifting your vocabulary to "checking," "monitoring," or "gathering data."

• The Verdict: "I failed my blood sugar test."
• The Data Point: "I checked my levels, and I’m running a bit high right now."

Think of your glucose meter like a GPS or a fuel gauge in a car. If your gas light comes on, you don’t pull over to the side of the road and cry because you’re a "bad driver." You simply acknowledge that the car needs fuel and you look for a gas station. Your blood sugar readings are navigation tools, not verdicts on your worth. They tell you where you are so you can decide which direction to turn next.

The 'Cheating' Myth: Removing Morality from Your Plate

Food is one of the most moralized aspects of modern life, and for those managing blood sugar, the pressure is doubled. We often hear people say they were "sinful" because they had a piece of cake, or that they are "cheating" on their diet.

Labeling food as "good" or "evil" creates a dangerous psychological trap. When you "cheat," you’ve already broken the rules, so you might as well go all the way—leading to the "all-or-nothing" binge mentality.

Instead of saying "I was bad today," try saying "I made a choice that affected my levels in a way I didn't expect." This removes the shame and allows you to analyze the situation logically. Maybe the cake was delicious and worth the extra insulin. Maybe next time you’ll choose a smaller portion. When food is just food—carbohydrates, fats, proteins, and pleasure—you regain the power to make intentional choices rather than reactive ones.

Reclaiming Identity: 'Person with Diabetes' vs. 'Diabetic'

There is a significant movement in the medical community toward "person-first language." It might seem like a small grammatical tweak, but it carries immense psychological weight.

When you call yourself a "diabetic," you are using a medical diagnosis as a noun to define your entire existence. It suggests that the condition is the most important thing about you. When you refer to yourself as a "person with diabetes," you are a human being first, who happens to be managing a chronic condition.

Separating your human worth from your diagnosis helps reduce "management fatigue." You are a parent, an artist, a friend, an employee—and you also happen to have a pancreas that needs a little extra help. Keeping that distinction clear helps you maintain your resilience when the management gets tough.

The 'Non-Compliant' Label: Re-evaluating Clinical Terminology

If you’ve ever felt judged at the doctor’s office, the word "compliance" might be the culprit. In a clinical setting, "compliance" suggests a power imbalance: the doctor gives orders, and the patient either obeys or fails. If you are "non-compliant," you are framed as a "rebellious" or "lazy" patient.

But life is complicated. Sometimes you can’t afford your medication, sometimes you’re grieving, and sometimes you just had a really hard week. These aren't failures of "compliance"; they are "management challenges."

Advocate for yourself in clinical settings. If a provider uses the word "non-compliant," feel free to rephrase: "I’m having some challenges with my current routine because of [X reason]. Can we look at some different strategies?" Shifting the conversation to "engagement" rather than "obedience" fosters a partnership with your healthcare team.

Practical Steps to Audit Your Inner Monologue

Changing the way you speak to yourself takes practice. Here are a few actionable ways to start de-moralizing your internal dialogue:

The 'Best Friend' Test

Would you ever look at your best friend, see they had a high blood sugar reading, and say, "Wow, you really messed up today. You’re so lazy"? Of course not. You would likely say, "That’s frustrating, let’s get some water and take a correction dose. You’ll be okay." Why do we speak to ourselves in ways we would never dream of speaking to a loved one?

Journaling for Neutrality

If you keep a log of your numbers, try adding a "Context" column instead of a "Notes" column. Instead of writing "Bad lunch," write "Pizza at work meeting, guessed the carb count." This turns a judgment into a lesson for next time.

The 'Next Time' Flip

Replace "I should have" with "Next time I will try."

• Old way: "I should have gone for a walk after dinner."
• New way: "My sugar stayed high after dinner; next time I’ll try a 15-minute walk to see if that helps."

Communicating Boundaries with Your Support System

Well-meaning family and friends can often be the biggest sources of linguistic stress. They ask, "Is your sugar good?" because they care, but to you, it feels like an interrogation.

It is okay to set boundaries. You might say: "I know you’re asking because you care about me, but when you ask if my sugar is 'good,' it makes me feel like I’m being graded. Instead, could you ask 'How are you feeling?' or 'Do you need anything for your management right now?'"

By modeling neutral language for your loved ones, you create a supportive environment where you don't have to hide your numbers for fear of being judged. You can also bring this to your medical appointments. Tell your nurse, "I prefer to talk about my 'time in range' rather than 'good' or 'bad' days."

Conclusion: A Kinder Path to Better Health

At the end of the day, your blood sugar levels are just numbers on a screen. They are not a reflection of your soul, your effort, or your value as a human being.

The paradox of blood sugar management is that when we stop being so hard on ourselves, our management actually tends to improve. When we remove the shame, we remove the stress. When we remove the stress, we remove the cortisol. And when we remove the cortisol, we find ourselves with a clearer head and a more stable body.

Treat your management as a practice, not a performance. There will be "messy" data days and there will be "smooth" data days. Through it all, the most important thing you can maintain is a kind, neutral, and supportive voice within yourself. You are doing a difficult job every single day—give yourself the grace to speak to yourself like the hero you are.

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Are you ready to change the conversation? Start today by catching just one "moral" word in your vocabulary and swapping it for a neutral one. Your mind—and your A1c—will thank you.